Carlisle and I have been working tirelessly on an agenda list and a new company motto today. [Editor's note: Technically, I was working hard on both of those things while Mulligan played Tetris on his iphone and pitched absolutely useless mottos at me that he became enamored with. Thus, number four below. Consequently, number two is also lacking in originality]. I thought I would share my top five with you below. Carlisle disagrees with me on nearly all of them, but that's alright. It's not like he's paid to think freely, right? [Actually....ah, nevermind. It's not worth the four hours of Minion Training Seminars...] Anywhoop, here they are in favourite to least favourite order:
1: Mulligan Manufacturing: We make evil look good.
2: Mulligan Manufacturing: Everything is Proceeding as We Have Foreseen
3: Mulligan Manufacturing: The Malevolent Wareaxe to Humanity's Inherent Bardliness.
4: Mulligan Manufacturing: We Wipe the Floor with that Infernal Game, Tetris.
5: Mulligan Manufacturing: Ruling the World, One Sock at a Time
6: Mulligan Manufacturing: We Desire to Rule Over You Because We Care
On a side note, our agenda list is coming along smoothly, and we should have at least a beta version for you by the end of the week. But who am I kidding....it's not like I actually care what you think. Haha. Ha. . . . .
But still, that is something to look forward to.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Greetings Minions.
Or rather, potential employees. My name is Dark Lord Mulligan, and my head of PR here at Mulligan Manufacturing thinks that it would benefit my goals to do a little bit of a "get to know you" campaign via what he calls the "blogsphere." I'm ambivalent...but no matter. I suppose a little so-called "viral marketing" couldn't hurt (which, I am being told, surprisingly, has nothing to do with threats of biological warfare).
So, in response to all of these things, I must admit to you that, yes, I am evil, yes, we do have cookies, and yes, I am awesome. Check that... Carlisle is informing me that we are currently out of cookies. But, I believe it would not be out of the question that, if you do decide to come to the Darkside (i.e. join me), we almost certainly will be able to get you in touch with some cookies. What exactly we are "about," I will be describing to you in the coming weeks, (though to be honest, to describe to you anything more than "ruling the world" seems unnecessary and borderline extravagant). Such a description is made necessary primarily because the folks over at the Evil League of Evil have standards for this sort of thing, and apparently any sort of public address or new marketing technique that comes into contact with large sections of the public must contain a formal statement of evil intentions (Evil Leage of Evil Manifesto Section 13, Paragraph 7, 1.1.14). Thankfully, Carlisle has read through those documents for me [Editor (Carlisle)'s note: All 1043 pages of it, in addition to all the secondary treatises, laws, and rules of misconduct. I also, ironically, am editing this blog], and has assured me that we are following regulation.
Until next time, this is your evil genius, Dark Lord Mulligan, signing off. Mwaha. *cough*
So, in response to all of these things, I must admit to you that, yes, I am evil, yes, we do have cookies, and yes, I am awesome. Check that... Carlisle is informing me that we are currently out of cookies. But, I believe it would not be out of the question that, if you do decide to come to the Darkside (i.e. join me), we almost certainly will be able to get you in touch with some cookies. What exactly we are "about," I will be describing to you in the coming weeks, (though to be honest, to describe to you anything more than "ruling the world" seems unnecessary and borderline extravagant). Such a description is made necessary primarily because the folks over at the Evil League of Evil have standards for this sort of thing, and apparently any sort of public address or new marketing technique that comes into contact with large sections of the public must contain a formal statement of evil intentions (Evil Leage of Evil Manifesto Section 13, Paragraph 7, 1.1.14). Thankfully, Carlisle has read through those documents for me [Editor (Carlisle)'s note: All 1043 pages of it, in addition to all the secondary treatises, laws, and rules of misconduct. I also, ironically, am editing this blog], and has assured me that we are following regulation.
Until next time, this is your evil genius, Dark Lord Mulligan, signing off. Mwaha. *cough*
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