Happy slave labor to you all, on this contemptible November day.
I must confess that I have been swamped with various world ruling projects recently, that I have failed to finish that list of agendas (agendae? I can never remember which words follow Latin pluralizing in English or not...) I promised. But never you worry, your evil warlord (that's me in case that mind control device hasn't begun to work yet), will have it out in no time.
Meanwhile, I must say that I never imagined to many socks to be sold around the holiday season! You'd think it was cold outside or something, it's absolutely absurd! We sold our entire stock and have had to begin rush manufacturing. Which reminds me, I need to find Carlisle and tell him to take that infernal one-day rush shipping option off of our website. [Editor's note: I just though that since Amazon has it... we'd want to stay competitive] I don't really care what hifalutin website with a jingle has it, we're not able to keep up with all of the web-savvy grandmothers that buy our wool novelty reindeer knee-socks. And you can tell that to Carlisle. [Does he even remember that he sends these posts to me to edit?]
All of these things aside, I was watching Kill Bill the other day, and realized how imperative it is that I learn how to use a Katana effectively. Seriously, if I don't, how will I possibly stand a chance defending myself against kung-fu style assassins? It could be my biggest weakness.... therefore, I am announcing today that I am beginning kung-fu mastery training and katana-swinging awesomeness. Or whatever you call that. Also, I'm ordering a bulk shipment of black lights for my practice room. Which I'm building. Buckle up world, the first ever bad-ass villain with kung-fu and katana skilz, paired with a western business savvy, and ancient magicks in the form of unholy dragon power and chaos-inducing existentialism is coming your way [editorial censorship for: plot points to be revealed later for dramatic effect]. It's going to be crazy awesome, Like an all out Penguin vs. Polar Bear war for Eastern Europe. That's all for now.
